Have you ever felt a lack of confidence or invisible?
Have you ever felt a lack of confidence or invisible? I used to feel too busy and over commited to make an effort to dress “up” every day. Besides I was going to lose weight, and figured I’d wait until that happened before I put in the time and effort to look put together every day. Read my story and how wardrobe and style helped my confidence factor, mood and life.
This is a true story.
I had gained some weight and was in stuck in the headset that I was going to lose weight, fit back into my good clothes and then I could enjoy life again. I was only 40 pounds away. It could happen.
In the meantime I refused to purchase any new clothes. Why would I spend that money? I had an entire wardrobe that was just waiting for me. The idea of buying new clothes was ridiculous. I had clothes, and I paid good money them. I had a closet full of clothes and yet, nothing to wear.
A closet full of clothes and nothing to wear.
I was going to meet an old friend down San Diego way (Hey I sound like Bruce….). We were meeting for lunch at a beachside restaurant. I dressed very casual in my old, circa 1994 river rafting shorts, an oversized tee shirt and running shoes. My unintentional look was sloppy, outdated, river camper lady. My friend showed up in a cute skirt, blouse and sandals. I immediately felt sloppy and underdressed. Studies show that women are more likely to be drepressed when they wear baggy, sloppy ill fitting clothing.
As we ordered at the counter and moved through the restaurant to find a seat, I noticed how my friend was treated and acknowledged by staff, and other patrons. I felt invisible.
Another couple years passed each one with similar experiences of feeling invisible and not quite myself. Occasionally I would buy some clothes but they were purchased in panic mode with no plan or strategy. Often times I still felt like I had nothing to wear. Check out this post where I share the 10 biggest clothes shopping mistakes. (Please, learn from my mistakes.)
Give yourself permission to live in the moment not where you were 15 years ago
I finally lost some weight by investing in a program that worked for me. I lost 30 of the 40 pounds and kept most of it off. With that success, I gave myself permission to donate the old clothes that were still too small. I also gave myself permission to get new clothes that fit my today body.
Tired of feeling invisible and punishing myself by not allowing myself to enjoy something that had always brought me joy, I instead felt sad, left out and not quite like myself. I loved clothing, color, accessories, sewing clothes, fashion history, fashion icons and fashion in classic film. Thus the desire to reconnect with this part of myself became important and I knew I needed to put myself in a position to bring that joy back.
Wardrobe, clothing and style is an amazing creative outlet
Getting dressed was fun again. I felt like myself. It was fun to have choices for any event. Everything in my closet fit. I felt good, empowered and confident. My own transformation is what inspired me to help other women experience the same confidence boost that I had. Part of my transformation involved getting my closet organized – you can read that post here.
The most important person you are dressing for is yourself
Now when I’m out in the world I no longer feel invisible. I feel like my clothing is a non verbal communication that I respect myself and others by putting effort into showing up as my best self. It’s a great feeling. And let me add that it’s not about having the perfect outfit every day, it’s about feeling empowered and making an effort most of the time. As a final thought, we can all access and use this tool called “wardrobe”.
Here’s to not feeling invisible.
Give me a high 5 in the comments if you’re game to stop feeling invisible at work, lunch, coffee or parties. You deserve to have confidence every day. Wardrobe and style can do that for you. I would love to hear your stories of how clothing and accessories helped you with your confidence.
Definition of confidence:
A feeling of self-assurance arising from one’s appreciation of one’s own abilities or qualities. “She’s brimming with confidence”.